Poetry PortfolioGrace Shin-Ae Lee
Ms.Johnson
11/12/06
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To my dearest little sister,
You always make my day special.
I miss you.
And I love you.
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I did my best on the Pantoum Poem, and the on the Narrative Poem. First of all, pantoum was so hard that I just had to focus writing on it, concerning about all those rhyming words following on the end of the lines. I tried to relate every line of the poems to the topic, which was Christmas. It was hard trying to rhyme all of those words, because some words were one of the words that don’t really rhyme very well with other words. Another poem that I spent my most time was on the Narrative Poem. I really had fun writing that poem, and I found it very funny to write this poem. I wrote about my childhood, and I think that made it very special writing this poem. I should say that my mot inspired work is the Narrative Poem.
My birthday and Christmas time are some of the most inspired events in my life. Every Christmas, our family spend many times together, doing many fun things, and we also share many gifts to each other, and share the truth of Jesus. This is why I wrote about Christmas on some of the poems. My birthday is another special event that happens in my life every year. I feel different for each year, as I’m growing a little more maturely in faith and in normal life. My little sister really inspires me greatly. She always encourages me, which is the other way around. She never gives up unless she really knows that there are no possibilities, but I know that she has the potential to do everything she wants to do.
I think the writing process we learned is very useful. It gives the general idea of how we should write it, and on what we should base our writing on. If we follow the writing process exactly as we are taught, we could make the best essay ever, but the thing is that it’s very hard to follow those categories. I think it is very important to do what other people require to, and what other people look first when they read our essays. The most important category I value in the writing process is the idea category. Essays and poems, or other writing pieces are all about showing our thought to people, and the following judges are whether we organized our piece well, or have grammar mistakes. The idea is what I most concerned when I wrote my poems, and after writing the poems and proofreading them, I still thought that idea is the most significant thing that should always be the best in any of the poems. The 6 Traits of Writing was like a rubric that instructed me how to do things, and to go more into the details of each of the categories. I learned what people expected from our writings, and I really think that it’s the best way or steps to follow when we’re writing.
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Table of Contents
1. Alone... --------Haiku-----------------5
2. A Pessimistic Point of View --------List Poem-------------6
3. Rainbow Candy Store--------Sound Poem----------7
4. My Regret… ---------Narrative Poem------8
5. Christmas ---------Pantoum-------------9
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“Alone…”
After a strong breeze
Red leaves falling on the ground;
Lonely, empty Tree
-5-
After a strong breeze
Red leaves falling on the ground;
Lonely, empty Tree
-5-
Title: A Pessimistic Point of View
Why do you hate writing poetry?
It has to be meaningful like the parables in the Bible.
It has to have many comparisons.
It has to have many descriptive words.
You have to be a meditator, thinking a lot before writing.
It has to be emotional, but serious also, at the same time.
It has to be devious and have depth.
It has to have one voice clearly represented.
It has many different types, like Free verse, Sonnets, Lyrics, and Dirges.
It has to have repetitive words over and over again, on some parts.
Hating to write, read, and think about poetry, is being asked by siblings to do something for them; annoying and irritating.
-6-
Why do you hate writing poetry?
It has to be meaningful like the parables in the Bible.
It has to have many comparisons.
It has to have many descriptive words.
You have to be a meditator, thinking a lot before writing.
It has to be emotional, but serious also, at the same time.
It has to be devious and have depth.
It has to have one voice clearly represented.
It has many different types, like Free verse, Sonnets, Lyrics, and Dirges.
It has to have repetitive words over and over again, on some parts.
Hating to write, read, and think about poetry, is being asked by siblings to do something for them; annoying and irritating.
-6-
“Rainbow Candy Store”
Rainbow color of stores across the street;
Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, purple.
Paintings reflected by the bright sunlight shining.
One store brimful with sweets
and children in a swarm,
after the last ‘ding-dong’ school bell,
the candy store.
Mumbling and grumbling,
hands in their pockets,
coins clinking to be grabbed.
Handing to the store-man,
‘clink’ again on the counter.
Children sucking their candies,
jjup-jjup.
‘Ouch, I hurt my tongue with the sharp edge’
said one of the kid.
-7-
Rainbow color of stores across the street;
Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, purple.
Paintings reflected by the bright sunlight shining.
One store brimful with sweets
and children in a swarm,
after the last ‘ding-dong’ school bell,
the candy store.
Mumbling and grumbling,
hands in their pockets,
coins clinking to be grabbed.
Handing to the store-man,
‘clink’ again on the counter.
Children sucking their candies,
jjup-jjup.
‘Ouch, I hurt my tongue with the sharp edge’
said one of the kid.
-7-
“My regret…”
I live in a doorway
Between two rooms,
Hitting the keyboard of the piano,
A frown and a grimace on the face,
sitting slantingly on the chair,
making the most frustrating sound,
like a song without untuned;
looking at the clock for time to end.
Now here I am,
where I can’t practice everyday.
Regretting and thinking of the past,
every weekend, I find my self on the piano,
playing the rainbow color sound,
beautiful melody along the rhythm.
A trance on my face,
enjoying the play.
-8-
“Christmas”
December 25th
Special day of the year,
Bringing Christmas gifts,
Dingdong sound, can’t you hear?
Special day of the year,
Sharing the joy of the Birth of Jesus,
Dingdong sound, can’t you hear?
The wonderful Bible Story’s passus
Sharing the joy of the Birth of Jesus,
Christmas tree with red and green,
The wonderful Bible Story’s passus
Santa waiting to be greet
Christmas tree with red and green,
Hark the Harold angels singing
Santa waiting to be greet
Children, joyfully caroling
Hark the Harold angel singing
Bringing Christmas gifts,
Children, joyfully caroling
December 25th
-9-
December 25th
Special day of the year,
Bringing Christmas gifts,
Dingdong sound, can’t you hear?
Special day of the year,
Sharing the joy of the Birth of Jesus,
Dingdong sound, can’t you hear?
The wonderful Bible Story’s passus
Sharing the joy of the Birth of Jesus,
Christmas tree with red and green,
The wonderful Bible Story’s passus
Santa waiting to be greet
Christmas tree with red and green,
Hark the Harold angels singing
Santa waiting to be greet
Children, joyfully caroling
Hark the Harold angel singing
Bringing Christmas gifts,
Children, joyfully caroling
December 25th
-9-
When Ms.Johnson taught us the instructions about the Haiku, I thought of the wonderful nature outside. While I was thinking about the greatness of the weather fall, Ms.Johnson said that Haikus are better to be about nature, and a little bit of lugubrious feeling. Here it goes, my self assessment of the Haiku, one of my favorite type of poem.
The message of this poem is very clear. It is showing the depressing feeling of falling leaves. The key point of this poem is loneliness, and I tried my best to express that loneliness with words describing the falling of the leaves. It can be well-summarized into the main, general topic and purpose to ‘loneliness’.
As far as I read, I can’t find any grammar mistakes, or even unappropriate words used in this poem, since it’s a very short poem. The convention seems all good, with appropriate format of writing Haikus. I also showed my clear topic and purpose of the poem most in line 3: ‘Lonely, empty Tree’. The organizational pattern is very appropriate for genre, topic, and purpose. It is easy to read because of the conciseness of the words and words that are connected together. The transitions between lines and lines are smooth and they are followed by the instructions of the poem. The opening is a little weak for a Haiku, but it generally gives the readers a moment to think about what’s the poem going to be about. The ending of the poem is strong, giving the best idea, and summarization of the poem with adjectives that describes the noun.
The voice is very lugubrious here. It sounds very lonely, and it follows the audience very well. The voice is very honest, and it is very truthful that everybody might agree about the topic. The words chosen here are all depending on the topic of the poem. The words are what makes the poem, so I really tried hard to put words that are not too technical and professional, but words that are comfortable and words that many other people can agree on.
-10-
The message of this poem is very clear. It is showing the depressing feeling of falling leaves. The key point of this poem is loneliness, and I tried my best to express that loneliness with words describing the falling of the leaves. It can be well-summarized into the main, general topic and purpose to ‘loneliness’.
As far as I read, I can’t find any grammar mistakes, or even unappropriate words used in this poem, since it’s a very short poem. The convention seems all good, with appropriate format of writing Haikus. I also showed my clear topic and purpose of the poem most in line 3: ‘Lonely, empty Tree’. The organizational pattern is very appropriate for genre, topic, and purpose. It is easy to read because of the conciseness of the words and words that are connected together. The transitions between lines and lines are smooth and they are followed by the instructions of the poem. The opening is a little weak for a Haiku, but it generally gives the readers a moment to think about what’s the poem going to be about. The ending of the poem is strong, giving the best idea, and summarization of the poem with adjectives that describes the noun.
The voice is very lugubrious here. It sounds very lonely, and it follows the audience very well. The voice is very honest, and it is very truthful that everybody might agree about the topic. The words chosen here are all depending on the topic of the poem. The words are what makes the poem, so I really tried hard to put words that are not too technical and professional, but words that are comfortable and words that many other people can agree on.
-10-
When I wrote this poem, I didn’t know that we were writing an actual poem because Ms.Johnson, our director didn’t tell us, when we started writing. I still don’t feel like this is a poem, and that there is such a thing called ‘list poem’. The title of this poem is ‘A Pessimistic Point of View’.
The message of this poem is fairly clear enough, and focused. When I was writing this poem, I was so concentrating on the theme of the poem, which was ‘why do you hate writing poems?’ I tried my best to list all I could answer for the question, and all of them are reasonable answers; however some are answers based on my mind or my opinion. That means that maybe other people might disagree with what I’m saying. The poem has enough descriptions, and it’s not hard for other normal people to understand what it means, even the metaphors. Other wise, the ideas are sufficiently creative and satisfying.
The convention in this poem is a little bit confusing. When I was writing this poem, I, myself was confused about the forms of the poem, and in what forms do I have to answer the question. In line 5, the line begins with ‘You’, and other lines are all starting with ‘It’. As I’m doing this self-assessment again, I think the line should be changed to ‘It was to be written after a lot of thinking’ and not writing about who I have to be, because I’m sure that it’s not for everybody that they have to be a meditator. Of course, I wrote it as to use some simile form, but I think it doesn’t really fit the poem. The punctuations are all correctly included, and there are no spelling mistakes. In line 10 and 11, the sentence is a little bit too ‘dragging’. I should’ve written like ‘Hatin about poetry is like getting a favor by siblings to do something for them; annoying and irritating.
The purpose of the poem is very evident in this poem, because I wrote the title, which was the topic and I also wrote the question above before I started to begin my first line of poem, which was intentionally done. I wanted the readers to get an idea of what I’m going to write, so that they won’t fall into a different genre, or different topic. The main ideas are clear, and shift part of the poem, which is the last two lines are the most important and noticeable sentence of the poem. Each sentences, or lines are smooth to be connected together, and they are on the same track, not losing the key point and the main idea. The opening is a little vague and it is too weak because of the ‘too general’ title. The voice of this poem is strong. Especially with the descriptive audience written on top of the page, readers can get the general tone of the poem by just reading the audience, without even reading the actual poem. The words are smoothly connected by the appropriate word choices for the students.
This is the poem that I had the least confidence so it was really hard to self-assess.
-11-
The message of this poem is fairly clear enough, and focused. When I was writing this poem, I was so concentrating on the theme of the poem, which was ‘why do you hate writing poems?’ I tried my best to list all I could answer for the question, and all of them are reasonable answers; however some are answers based on my mind or my opinion. That means that maybe other people might disagree with what I’m saying. The poem has enough descriptions, and it’s not hard for other normal people to understand what it means, even the metaphors. Other wise, the ideas are sufficiently creative and satisfying.
The convention in this poem is a little bit confusing. When I was writing this poem, I, myself was confused about the forms of the poem, and in what forms do I have to answer the question. In line 5, the line begins with ‘You’, and other lines are all starting with ‘It’. As I’m doing this self-assessment again, I think the line should be changed to ‘It was to be written after a lot of thinking’ and not writing about who I have to be, because I’m sure that it’s not for everybody that they have to be a meditator. Of course, I wrote it as to use some simile form, but I think it doesn’t really fit the poem. The punctuations are all correctly included, and there are no spelling mistakes. In line 10 and 11, the sentence is a little bit too ‘dragging’. I should’ve written like ‘Hatin about poetry is like getting a favor by siblings to do something for them; annoying and irritating.
The purpose of the poem is very evident in this poem, because I wrote the title, which was the topic and I also wrote the question above before I started to begin my first line of poem, which was intentionally done. I wanted the readers to get an idea of what I’m going to write, so that they won’t fall into a different genre, or different topic. The main ideas are clear, and shift part of the poem, which is the last two lines are the most important and noticeable sentence of the poem. Each sentences, or lines are smooth to be connected together, and they are on the same track, not losing the key point and the main idea. The opening is a little vague and it is too weak because of the ‘too general’ title. The voice of this poem is strong. Especially with the descriptive audience written on top of the page, readers can get the general tone of the poem by just reading the audience, without even reading the actual poem. The words are smoothly connected by the appropriate word choices for the students.
This is the poem that I had the least confidence so it was really hard to self-assess.
-11-
This is the sound poem that I based on kids who love candies when I wrote this poem. The idea of this poem is very creative. First of all, there are many ideas and thoughts in this poem, and it has many sounds. It is easy to summarize, and it is very realistic, without using tricks or feigning the readers. The main theme of the story is all over the lines, and it has enough details needed. The message and the theme are very clear and well-summarized. Each of the lines is not losing the main topic of the poem, and it is very thorough. The result and the conclusion is very satisfying, especially that it concludes the shift part of the poem.
As far as I read my own poem, I don’t find any errors on the poem, because of the peer editing in 2nd draft. On line 6, I think I shouldn’t have put the quotations around ‘ding-dong’. I should have also put more sounds, since it’s a sound poem, but I don’t have any regret on the sounds that I have written. The words are creative enough, and it has very special meanings for each of the powerful words. The lines are all based on the audience, which was kids for this poem, and I wrote appropriate connecting words to make sure that the audience (kids) would understand the poem and think like: ‘Yeah, I felt like this when I was doing this, and I made these kinds of sounds’.
The topic and the purpose of this poem is very clear and concise. This makes the poem well-summarized, and the poem is very easy and simple to understand to everybody, because of the wonderful topic that everybody might have experienced once. The topic is very easygoing, and is very comfortable. The transitions between the lines are fairly smooth enough, and again, each lines are all somehow very related to the general topic of the whole poem.
The voice of this poem is very strong, I think. I feel like I used many appropriate words in this poem, because when I was writing, I really concentrated on the purpose and the topic, but the most part that I concentrated on was the audience. I think the audience judges the whole poem, and it depends on the audience, whether or not the poem will be full of joy or sadness. I hope that I solved the readers’ curiosity when they started reading, and reached the shift part of the poem, the conclusion.
Again I’m emphasizing that the words are chosen very well in this poem. I especially made the lines very easy to understand with simple and deep words, concerning about the audience of the poem. Also, the words are not all easy, but it has some meaningful words, so I guess it’s balanced. The verbs and adjectives are sufficiently strong in this poem, and I’m very proud of the words that I’ve chosen.
As far as I read my own poem, I don’t find any errors on the poem, because of the peer editing in 2nd draft. On line 6, I think I shouldn’t have put the quotations around ‘ding-dong’. I should have also put more sounds, since it’s a sound poem, but I don’t have any regret on the sounds that I have written. The words are creative enough, and it has very special meanings for each of the powerful words. The lines are all based on the audience, which was kids for this poem, and I wrote appropriate connecting words to make sure that the audience (kids) would understand the poem and think like: ‘Yeah, I felt like this when I was doing this, and I made these kinds of sounds’.
The topic and the purpose of this poem is very clear and concise. This makes the poem well-summarized, and the poem is very easy and simple to understand to everybody, because of the wonderful topic that everybody might have experienced once. The topic is very easygoing, and is very comfortable. The transitions between the lines are fairly smooth enough, and again, each lines are all somehow very related to the general topic of the whole poem.
The voice of this poem is very strong, I think. I feel like I used many appropriate words in this poem, because when I was writing, I really concentrated on the purpose and the topic, but the most part that I concentrated on was the audience. I think the audience judges the whole poem, and it depends on the audience, whether or not the poem will be full of joy or sadness. I hope that I solved the readers’ curiosity when they started reading, and reached the shift part of the poem, the conclusion.
Again I’m emphasizing that the words are chosen very well in this poem. I especially made the lines very easy to understand with simple and deep words, concerning about the audience of the poem. Also, the words are not all easy, but it has some meaningful words, so I guess it’s balanced. The verbs and adjectives are sufficiently strong in this poem, and I’m very proud of the words that I’ve chosen.
-12-
Peer Edit
Esther Park
B Writing
Dear. Miss Grace Lee
Ms, Lee, as I have read, your poem was about joy of Christmas season.
The idea is very clear and as audience, I had no problem understanding it.
As an audience, I could understand the main idea in your poem; however, I think the audience range is a little bit vague. Also, there were few, but not many, errors I could spot. I know you were trying to make the poem rhyme, but I think you still need to use correct grammar. So, you should look for other correct words that will rhyme with other phrases and rectify the poem.
Another error I saw was that some words that you intended to rhyme did not quietly work. So, the audience might not know that your poem is a Pantoum.
There were few words that I could not understand. Thus, you should look for easier words to replace that will have same meaning to make the poem appropriate for your audience. Other than this, the topic, itself fits the audience range.
The voice of your needs is in your poem, but it needs more of your personality in it, or your personal thoughts. You might want to write in more creative ways.
The poem had good sentence fluency, and I really enjoyed reading the poem. The Christmas spirit was definitely in it.
Ms. Lee, your poem was very lovely and enjoyable and I look forward to edit your writings again.
Thank you,
Esther Park
12/07/06
Peer Edit
Esther Park
B Writing
Dear. Miss Grace Lee
Ms, Lee, as I have read, your poem was about joy of Christmas season.
The idea is very clear and as audience, I had no problem understanding it.
As an audience, I could understand the main idea in your poem; however, I think the audience range is a little bit vague. Also, there were few, but not many, errors I could spot. I know you were trying to make the poem rhyme, but I think you still need to use correct grammar. So, you should look for other correct words that will rhyme with other phrases and rectify the poem.
Another error I saw was that some words that you intended to rhyme did not quietly work. So, the audience might not know that your poem is a Pantoum.
There were few words that I could not understand. Thus, you should look for easier words to replace that will have same meaning to make the poem appropriate for your audience. Other than this, the topic, itself fits the audience range.
The voice of your needs is in your poem, but it needs more of your personality in it, or your personal thoughts. You might want to write in more creative ways.
The poem had good sentence fluency, and I really enjoyed reading the poem. The Christmas spirit was definitely in it.
Ms. Lee, your poem was very lovely and enjoyable and I look forward to edit your writings again.
Thank you,
Esther Park
12/07/06
-13-
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